It’s been a while since I have royally slagged something off. I think I can blame my recent rants about pretty much everything on the fact I’ve not had a proper complain here on Stylingo.
Thankfully, I can finally come to some sort of rant closure and finally I have something to properly complain about. And that something is bloody Rimmel Scandaleyes Rockin’ Curves mascara. In fact, it’s not just complaining. It’s full on hatred.
This is without a doubt the worst thing I have put on my face, even worse than that time I thought mixing yoghurt and porridge oats would be a pleasant face mask experience. Since my love of lists is almost as much as my love of complaining, here is my beef in list form.
- What in god’s good name is the brush about? It’s literally the stupidest thing I have ever seen. Why would you make a curly wand like this? WHY. It means that at any one time, you can only get a few of your lashes. It means that your hand flaps about because you don’t know what’s going on. It basically means that whoever designed this temporarily lost their minds and/or should be sacked.
- I was promised curves. Where are they? My eyelashes look like a big ball of utter wank (pardon). They look like tiny stubby midgets balancing on my eyelids. What they don’t look like is rockin’, or curvy.
- Why is my face crumbling like pastry? I have never experienced a mascara that crumbles like this. By the end of the day, it looks like I have been down t’pit. It is also extremely annoying and slightly uncomfortable when it flakes off and falls into your eyeballs. No, Rimmel. No.
- Why is the packaging so embarrassing? I’m sorry, but snakeskin and a pitiful attempt at a ‘cool’ logo makes me want to throw up. It also makes me wonder why I bought it in the first place, I must have felt some kind of 3 for 2 Boots pressure and temporarily lost it.
- Why have you given me eyeball disease? I can’t rightly blame this on the mascara, but I have a sore eyeball now and I strongly suspect it is because this pathetic excuse for a mascara has been flaking all over the place and making me touch my eyes more than I usually would. Owwy.
So anyway. The only positive I can give Rimmel Scandaleyes Rockin’ Curves is that it makes my blonde eyelashes black and therefore makes me look like less of an albino. That is all.
Don’t bother buying this girls, it will be the most upsetting thing you ever do.
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I am LOVING your anger!!! Rharrrr!!
What a stupid brush, you’re right. It’s absolutely ridiculous. Poor you for getting itchy eyeball 🙁 let’s send this to the mascara graveyard and be bothered by it no more. Xx
Hahah I kinda love it too 😉
It really baffles me, I don’t know why it exists to be honest. TO THE GRAVEYARD IT GOES. xxx
This was such a brilliant review. So funny. The ending was brill aswell. I agree the packaging the gross. very naff and chavy haha
SO chavvy, I don’t think that I can cope anymore. Thanks for your comment lovely xxx
HAHAH you crack me up so much, I actually like one of the Rimmel London mascaras with a brush like this, but it’s definitely not this cringey packaged nightmare that crumbles BUT I do like the brush, I am sorry!!! I won’t be buying this though! P.s I love ‘negative’ reviews so helpful xxxx
Haha bless you, I guess everyone is different! Thank you for your comment hot lady xxxx
I’m still laughing at this post! Every blogger needs to be this honest!!
Kirstie x
http://www.ayellowbrickblog.com
Haha thank you so much Kirstie! xxx
AHAHAHAAAAA BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ.
I have similar thoughts on that Miss Manga piece of sheeet and suddenly feel compelled to spill my guts all over le blog.
Holly Mixtures
xx