Features | Vanity Claire

ClaireApril 16, 2014

No, I Don’t Have Have Any Tits: The Flat-Chested Girl’s Struggle

Hello you fine chicas. Today I’m here to talk to you about boobs, or in fact my lack thereof. I know I’m not alone inthe Itty Bitty Titty Club and so I’m hoping that this post might resonate with a few of my fellow small basooma owners.

You see, I basically barely developed in the boobage department. I am unashamedly a 32B, though I think that’s just a bit of a fluke as sans underwear I definitely look like I’m rocking an A cup. And this fact is genuinely something that has very rarely bothered me throughout my years as a flat chested adult; what has bothered me though is everyone else’s seeming problem with my lack of problem with it.

It seems to me that in today’s society, where we’re all meant to be so pro-body confidence and all about embracing our bodies as they are (insert more Gok Wan babble here), having a go at small boobs is the last thing that it’s still okay to do. We all seem to have learned that it’s rude to pick on a woman for her weight, yet it seems perfectly fine to sneer at girls who aren’t packing much in the old mammaries. So many times I have heard snide comments about other people along the lines of ‘oh yeah she’s pretty… but she hasn’t got any boobs’ and I’ve even had so-called friends actually make comments to me before a night out such as ‘wow, you actually look like you have tits tonight’… as if that’s not completely rude?

I think it all stems from an idea that girls with small boobs, or girls who are generally slim, are not ‘real women’. On one night out while I was at uni, I was with my friend in the toilets. My friend was a good 5’10 in height and at a size 10-12 looked perfectly in proportion and healthy, yet was still bemoaning the fact that she used to be a size 8 and wanted to go on a diet. Some random girl then pops up out of nowhere and – probably thinking she’s being nice – starts berating my friend, telling her that she shouldn’t strive to be a size 8 because she’s a ‘real woman’ and ‘real women aren’t a size 8’. I was standing there in my size 6-8 Motel Rocks bodycon dress, listening to this girl basically telling me I wasn’t a real woman and thinking ‘oh right love, what am I then – a fucking seahorse?’

We seem as a society to have become so pro-curves that we’ve actually done a 180 and now made skinny or flatchested girls feel like they’re lacking as women. The idea that we could possibly be happy with ourselves in the same way that curvy girls are seems absurd. The amount of people I’ve had ask me if I’d ever have a boob job is actually quite shocking when you realise how rude it is. Now, my older sister had a boob job a couple of years ago (so I’m obviously not knocking them) and so when it’s people who know that who ask me it doesn’t offend me as much, as it seems more logical. But when it’s people who are just looking at me and assuming surely I must want a boob job, it’s downright offensive. You wouldn’t just walk up to someone with a big nose and say ‘Cor, don’t you fancy getting that schnozz sorted?’ or approach a bigger girl and ask whether she’s consider having her fat sucked out of her.

On the topics of boob jobs, like I’ve said I really don’t disagree with them. If you’re genuinely unhappy with your body then by all means make whatever changes you want. My only concern is when girls are having them done because of the opinions of others, especially men. I’ve seen a lot of women on TV state that their reason for a boob job was feeling unwomanly or inadequate with their partner – and I think that’s desperately sad. I know it’s rarely the boyf’s fault and they’re probably super nice people who tell their girlfriend she’s perfect as she is. But in those cases where a boyfriend is responsible for the girl feeling bad about herself, then I think it’s awful. Here is a fact: if he has a problem with your boobs, then HE is a boob and deserves to be sacked off immediately.

Sure, there are plenty of men out there who like bigger boobs. I know for sure that there are lads I’ve met who probably would have liked me more if I had bigger boobs. But is that a reason for me to go in search of bigger boobs? Er, no. I think the real key to body confidence, in regards to relationships and attraction anyway, is to accept that you’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea. Some men simply won’t like you because you have small boobs/are bigger than a size 12/have a flat arse/are blonde/are brunette/have an extra thumb. And it’s really no criticism on them, as women are just as picky. I for one will refuse to date a boy who wears a gilet. Different strokes etc.

I could waffle on about this topic all day; I suppose I have a lot to get off my chest – and I certainly have the room to do so (badumchhh). But my ultimate point (I know, it’s surprising that I have one after all that waffle) is that we should all just ACCEPT ONE ANOTHER and accept that WE ARE ALL REAL WOMEN. You got a vajayjay, you’re in the club regardless. So let’s stop trying to put girls down on any little thing we can think of and just get on with our own lives and shaking our own jelly.

What do you all think? Has anyone else in the Itty Bitty Titty Club encountered this kind of thing? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

Please nominate Stylingo.co.uk for the Best Blogging Duo award in this year’s Company Style Blogger Awards!

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ClaireMarch 24, 2014

A Week in Instagram #8

Ahoy there amigos,

If you follow us on Instagram, you will know that we post pictures of our faces pretty frequently. In fact, we post pictures of various body parts, mostly hands and feet too. This is what we have been up to recently.

I like wearing my converse because it makes me feel hip hop and happening.
Claire giving her Dirty Looks hair extensions a whirl, doesn’t she just look peachy?
Sometimes there is little better in life than a brew and a magazine. Claire had a read of Tatler recently on her lunch break at work.
We got sent some exciting summer goodies from Elsie and Fred. Claire got a beautiful pastel bralet, I got some excellent 60s sunglasses and they sent us some little rings too.
How amazing and excellent are these white sandals from Primark? Very. Claire picked them up for a bargain £14.
And here is me giving my Dirty Looks hair extensions a whirl. They dyed to my ginger hair colour perfectly.
A couple of purchases Claire picked up from New Look and Missguided – pastels are our favey.
Claire matching her ring to her nails, what is she like?
I reviewed this fabulous Barry M lipstick, it is a beaut.
More magazines and more tea, life is good.
Claire was sent these absolutely beautiful floral Doc Martens from Cloggs.co.uk
I like wearing animals on my hands and around my neck. Jewellery from Primark and from New Look!
Claire’s excellent outfit, featuring her new Primark shoes.
Frilly socks are the best.
Claire’s top tramp tip: curl your hair extensions to hide any shaggy ends!
And here is a snap of my face featuring my Elsie and Fred sunglasses. HUZZAH.

We hope that you enjoy stalking us from time to time (although I’m not sure why you would, we lead very boring lives). If you want to follow us in Instagram, we are @StylingoUK. THANKS BYE.

|| Don’t forget that you can follow us on Instagram, Bloglovin’ and Twitter! ||

ClaireMarch 19, 2014

5 Things People Are Too Enthusiastic About

While I don’t want to be too much of a Negative Nancy, there are few things in the world that annoy me more than too much enthusiasm (one being brown tshirts). Too much enthusiasm is not cool. Do you want people to think you are a raging lunatic that gets excited about nothing? No. I didn’t think so. That’s why I have created this handy list of things people are too enthusiastic about. In an ideal world, we would all sit down with a nice cup of tea and complain about the weather and how kids these days are all mad (have you SEEN the length of school skirts these days? I’m horrified by the underage vajajay on show).

Saying that, there are a few things that we are allowed to be excited about (I’m not a monster). These include:

The miracle and wonderment that is childbirth.
Buying new lipstick.
A new outfit.
Lord of the Rings.
Chinese takeaways.

Apart from these, we should all be keeping our upper lips stiff and maintaining a face of absolute calm. That means there will be no putting your hands up for Detroit or any other city for that matter, and certainly no waving them around like you just don’t care (you should care). Without further ado, please stop being excited about:

Holidays

Yes, holidays are nice but lets be honest, they’re not something to get your knickers in a twist about. For a week or two of our lives we might be in the sun, we might have a super cool time drinking Pina Coladas and we might (if we can be arsed) see a few sights. But then, we have to come home and carry on with our boring lives in rubbish weather drinking whatever we can get our hands on to dull the loneliness (…too much?). The best thing about holidays is that we don’t have to do the things have to do for a week and it might be a bit hotter. Pleasant, I will grant you that. We might even meet some excellent people, but once we’re back in Merry England those excellent people will drift away. Just like your special memories of Zante or god forbid, Kavos.

Now I’m not saying you can’t be a little bit excited about your holiday. But please, for everyone’s sanity, don’t upload a screenshot of your holiday countdown. Don’t go on about how there are 8932 hours left until you can get your bikini on. And for the love of the Queen and all that is holy, do not under any circumstances get a “funny” tshirt printed (unless it’s ironic, obvs). And when you are actually on holiday, stop uploading pictures of your partially tanned legs on a sunbed. You look weird.

Relationships

Again, relationships are perfectly fine. I, myself, am in one that is ticking along quite nicely. But there is a difference between having a good relationship and shoving that relationship down everyone’s throat. A general rule of thumb is to pretend that your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t exist until someone asks you about it. Harsh? Not really. This may just be me, but I really don’t care about a stranger’s relationship. The ones that I do care about, I will take the time to ask about.

So, don’t go on about how much you love “your man” or “the boy” 500 times a day on Twitter. Don’t upload horrible pictures of you two snogging, or doing anything for that matter. PDA extends to the internet, my friends, and it alarms me to see people I thought were harmless looking like they have suddenly grown a siamese twin from their lips.

I also think there is no need to show off about your relationship. You never know who you might have on Facebook or Twitter, but you definitely probably have some single mates or ones that have recently broken up with the troll in their life. You don’t want to add to their distress by uploading a picture of your new Primark handbag that “omgggg the boy just bought me this, what a sweetie lol lol lol love you, you are the best blah blah blah bore off”. This goes for flowers, pictures of ~~romantic~~ ridiculous country walks and/or anything that could remotely look like bragging. Bragging is not cool.

Nights Out

Like any self-respecting half Brit, I enjoy a night out. Dancing around like a lunatic and sipping on cheap alcohol isn’t too horrible and a pleasant enough way of spending my Saturday night. What it is not however, is the best night of my life ever. Take a minute to think about what a night out really is. It is a bunch of people, often with miscellaneous bits of plastic stuck to their faces and/or hands, drinking a substance that makes them forget what they’re doing and/or fall over. Then they start moving like they’re having a mini-stroke and potentially start to molest strangers. Then, they stuff their faces with cheesy foods and feel absolutely horrible the next day. Something to get too enthusiastic about? No.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t go out. Going out is great. But posting Facebook statuses about how it is going to be the best night ever and listening to songs like ‘I Gotta Feelin’ is just not ok. Quiet ambivalence is the way forward, and concentrating on just actually having a good night is probably a better use of your time.

Your Friends

Now you go too far, you ginger loon. But as I always say, NOT FAR ENOUGH. I like my friends a lot, they are wonderful people and they make me very happy and jolly. I’m sure that people who know them think that too. Which is why there is no need for me to go on and on about how great they are to everyone. It’s fine every now and then, but really…every single day? It’s annoying. You can’t like people that much. And as far as screen shotting “hilarious” conversations you’ve had with your pals, let’s avoid that.

Festivals and Gigs

Once again, festivals and gigs are something that I enjoy enormously. I even have a tattoo representing my love for Glastonbury. But similar to the ‘nights out’ section, they’re not going to be the best thing you ever do ever. They’re mega fun and you will have an excellent time. But going on about it more than necessary and counting down to your summer fezzie every day on social media makes me want to cry. Cuff me.

Over enthusiasm is just upsetting. I’m not knocking getting excited about things and enjoying them, but there is definitely a limit to how much you should go on about it. Go forth and enjoy life, just don’t bang on about it to the point where the majority of the population want to biff you. We are British for goodness sake, if we can’t be underwhelmed…what can we be?

ClaireMarch 16, 2014

An Idiot’s Guide to Basic Contouring

Hey you, spade face! Do you have a face that’s all big like a spade and you would like to know how to get it to look less like a spade and more like a face? Well lucky you, you’re in the right place!

‘Contouring’ has without doubt been the buzz word of the makeup industry for a couple of years now. Made famous by that chiseled lunatic Kim Kardashian, contouring is the art of creating shadows and highlights to make your face look ~~like someone else’s~~ the best it can.

I’ve trawled through endless tutorials on contouring and now have a routine I’m fairly happy with. I’m by no means a pro (I don’t even have my own reality show OR a rapper boyfriend yet so I’m obviously no good at all really) and everything I do is just an amalgamation of other tutorials, so I’m not really going to be saying anything revolutionary. But if, like me, you find yourself a bit lost in some of the more complex contouring guides out there (and end up shouting “But I don’t own any Ben Nye Banana Powder!” furiously at the screen) then you may find something in this beginners’ guide useful.

What Products Do You Need for Contouring?

I’d say that all you essentially need for contouring is a bronzer that is several shades darker than your base and a highlighter that is several shades lighter. The greater the difference in these shades, the more prominent the contrast will be. I’ve tried powdered bronzers and highlighters before, but found that cream ones work best for me as they’re much more blendable. I’m currently using two Seventeen products: the Instant Glow Cream Bronzer (there’s only one shade I believe) and the Stay Time 18 Hour concealer in Extra Fair. The key is for both of these products to be matte – you don’t want glitter all over the place or you’ll look like a discoball.

For blending, I use either my buffing brush or my Real Teachniques Beauty Blender. Both work really well, so as long as you know you have a tool that’s good for blending then you should be fine.

Where To Apply Products for Contouring

After applying my base as usual, I then shadow and highlight in these areas:

When I initially ventured into the world of contouring, I thought it was just about the cheekbones – bronzer below and highlighter on the bone. However you can basically shadow and highlight just about your entire face. Underneath the cheekbones, down the jawline, down the sides of your nose, on your temples and even a bit around the chin can all be made into shadows.

You can then highlight across the cheekbones and underneath the eyes (aim for a triangle shape), down the nose, on the cupids’ bow, your chin, your forehead, the archs of your eyebrows and the bit of cheek between the jaw and cheekbone. Once this is all blended in, the effect should be subtle – you shouldn’t notice any harsh lines whatsoever.

And here are the results. As you can see it’s nothing extraordinary, but I do feel significantly less like a spade once I’ve contoured.

An optional extra step here is to add more highlighter onto certain areas, namely the top of the cheekbones, a bit on the bridge of the nose and the cupids’ bow. For this step, you can use more of a shimmery highlighter (I use Seventeen’s Wow! Skin 3 Way Highlighter), though be sure not to place it anywhere where it can be mistaken for oil/sweat – sweaty upper lips are so not Kim K.

What do you all think of contouring? Are you a pro or new to the whole thing? Share your tips below!

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ClaireMarch 5, 2014

How To Dress For Your Body Shape: The Real Person Version

I’m pretty sure most girls have tried on clothes while out shopping, taken a peek in the mirror and thought ‘good heavens, these leather trousers make me look like a raging hippopotamus lunatic’. (no…just me?)

I am very passionate about people wearing clothes that suit them (i.e. if you are over a certain age and insist on wearing disco hot pants, you need to go home). And that’s not just me being horrified at seeing elderly bottom in the streets, I think people generally feel better in clothes that fit them and suit them. I know I definitely do, which is why I refuse (on grounds that I don’t want to alarm anybody with my trunk-like arms) to wear things that don’t have sleeves.

But how on this good green earth how do you dress for your body shape in this day and age without looking like a lunatic?

Triangle:

If you’re a triangle shape, you tend to be bigger on top and smaller on the bottom – basically an inverted pear. Skater skirts help to put you more into proportion.

Leather Skater Skirt | Cropped Ribbed Tshirt | Cut Out Boots | Statement Necklace

Pear:

Aside from being delicious and good for you, pears tend to be bigger on the bottom and smaller on top. Patterns and sleeves balance y’all out.

Floral Skater Dress | Platform Sandals | Pale Pink Bag

Hourglass:

If you’re an hourglass, you’re a lucky thang. Hourglasses are the same proportions on top and on the bottom. Huzzah. Make the most most of your hot bod.

Black Midi Skirt | Crop Vest Drop | Cascade Necklace | Strap Heels

Apple:

Apple shapes are usually bigger around the middle bit, with slimmer legs and arms. Shift dresses are excellent because they don’t draw attention to the bigger areas. And transparent clutch bags are great.

White Flatforms | Daisy Print Shift Dress | Transparent Clutch Bag

Rectangle:

The model shape, you lucky thangs! Clothes look brilliant on you and you can pretty much wear anything. Thanks to the queen and merry England.

Metallic Boots | Lace Jumpsuit | Pink Satchel

I know there have been a zillion programmes on the telly about wearing the right clothes for your body shape, but lets be honest. Gok doesn’t really cater for us gals who are a bit on the younger side. And his tips don’t always correlate to what’s in the shops right at this moment in time. The whole “ooooo-er wear a waist belt to draw the eye to who knows what” is frankly nonsense. It’s not 2004 anymore and I don’t even know where you buy a coloured waist belt anymore. And this horizontal versus vertical stripe situation baffles me. If I wear a vertical stripe, I can pretty much guarantee that I will not look like a size 6 Kate Moss.

My ultimate top tip for you all is: the bigger the bag, the smaller the waist. While dressing for your shape is a good idea…sometimes you just want to wear disco hotpants. If that’s the case, just buy lots of giant handbags and wear what you want. Goodnight.

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ClaireFebruary 28, 2014

Girls Carrying Condoms: Why the Taboo?

Well yes, this is a big ole’ collection of condoms. Don’t act like I haven’t caught your attention, because I know I have.

Don’t fear though, you are not about to read a condom review from yours truly. If that’s the sort of thing you’re after then there are plenty of blogs out there to cater for you (a rather eye watering amount actually, believe me), but I’m far too prudish for that – no, instead you have to listen to me getting on my soapbox again – hurrah!

One of our friends works at the PR agency currently behind the launch of the Geordie Shore gang’s collaboration with condom brand Skins. After all, who better to guide us through the world of sexual health than the Buck Squad? Now, a condom release wouldn’t usually make its way into this blog but to coincide with the collaboration, the company conducted a good old bit of market research into sex in the UK and people’s attitudes to condoms, and it really got me thinking.

Here are just a few things they found out:

Nearly 80% of Brits would consider casual sex
However 48% of those don’t carry condoms with them
63% of people admitted to having unprotected sex in the past
45% have gone ahead with unprotected sex simply because they didn’t have a condom on them
26% reported that they were too drunk to remember to use one

All of these figures mean that it’s little surprise that 10% of the people asked admitting to having had contracted an STI at some point.

Now, I don’t want to point the finger at my fellow vajayjay owners, but I would put quite a significant sum of money (maybe as much as £12) on a large portion of that 52% of people that don’t carry condoms being female. I think even today, when a lot of us generally believe that as long as you’re single and not hurting anyone then you can get yo’ freak on with whoever you want, that there’s still a bit of a taboo about girls carrying condoms.

A lot of people still think of it as being the boy’s responsibility, since he’s the one with the penis and all. But the fact of the matter is that it’s YOUR body it’s going into, so we should definitely be taking some more responsibility too. I’m sure we’d all recoil in horror if our dentist went to put his fingers in our mouth without a pair of gloves on – we would say “ERGH get off me you vile creature”… so why don’t more of us say the same thing to our gentlemen callers?

I think some girls probably worry about it looking a bit slaggy to carry condoms, or they think the man in question will judge them if they’re the one to produce it before the magic moment. FYI, having condoms does not make you a slag – it makes you a sensible woman with a strong mind, a woman who prefers Gucci to Gonorrhea.

There will also undoubtedly be cases where a condom will be available, but the man in question might try to avoid using it. It’s a pretty common complaint that condoms lessen the sensation for men, and I know there are plenty of girls who don’t really like them either. However, just stock up on a pack of the bad boys below and tell the man in your life to shut up and pop one on.

Yes, in an ideal world we’d all have regular STI checks by law and would all carry around a little card that shows we safe from all of those non-sexy sexual diseases. However, I’m not Prime Minister yet so this doesn’t happen – and do we really want to risk taking people’s word for it?

I’m aware I’ve come across a bit man-hatey in this post, which wasn’t my intention at all. I know they’re not all evil villains whose sole mission in life is to run around putting their willies in things without a condom. I know there are plenty of upstanding gentlemen out there who always carry protection and insist on using it – and to those men, I salute you! But to make up for the other men who aren’t quite as strict or responsible, I think it’s definitely time for girls to take rubber responsibility.

What do you all think on the topic of girls carrying condoms? Do you think we need to start being more responsible?

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ClaireFebruary 26, 2014

Do Tea Detoxes Actually Work? | Slendertoxtea Review & Giveaway!

Detoxing has always been pretty big news in the health world, and it seems that recently the popularity of ‘tea detoxes’ has rocketed. This version of detoxing involves cleansing your system simply through drinking some specially blended herbal teas. There are quite a few companies around at the moment offering these products, and one of these is Slendertoxtea, who were superbly kind people and sent me 14 days’ worth of products to try.

Slendertoxtea state that their tea detox will help to:

beat the bloat
aid weightloss
increase your energy
increase your metabolism

I was really intrigued to try one of these detoxes for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I’ve been healthy eating and gymming for months now but still find that bloating is an issue, particularly as the day goes on. Secondly, I’ve always quite liked the idea of ridding my body of toxins but haven’t quite fancied only eating apples for three days like some other detoxes advise. And thirdly, I just love a little experiment.

How Does Slendertoxtea Work?

I actually agreed to review the products before I had any idea how they worked. I know, how wise of me(!) I assumed it would be a ‘skip breakfast and have this cuppa’ instead situation, but I was incorrect. Once I actually scoped the website out I was pleased to see that the tea detox involves no cutting out of food whatsoever. The process is simple: you have one tea each morning as soon as you wake up, and then crack on with all of your daily meals as usual. Then, every other night you also have an evening tea.

Obviously for the tea detox to be 100% effective, you should be eating healthily too. The website has a pretty handy Eating Plan you can download if you would like some guidance on what to eat, and it has some additional information on foods to avoid too.

Now, I will be very straight with you all. The nub and gist of the matter is that this tea detox works due to having a laxative effect. There, I said it. Those of a sensitive disposition should look away now, as this review is henceforth me talking about pooing.

Slendertoxtea is a colon cleansing tea that, to put it simply, flushes you out. This is due to the herbs in the tea, which have apparently been used by South East Asians for many years. The tea needs to be brewed for around 15 minutes in either warm or cold water and then… the magic begins.

My Slendertoxtea Experience

I was a little wary once I realised how the detox was going to work, and even more so when I read the packet that instructs you to begin your detox on a weekend when you’re not at work. ‘Oh gosh,’ I thought, ‘poo explosions imminent!’

However, I’m pleased to report – and I’m sure you’re all pleased to read – that this wasn’t the case. My effects didn’t kick in until the second day and for me, it was not remotely a bad experience. While the website does warn of slight nausea, headaches and hunger pangs, I actually felt fine during my teatox. My loo breaks were increased, yes – especially on the days following the morning tea and the evening tea – but they were, er, shall we say quick ‘trips’ so it didn’t massively disrupt me.

I’m lucky enough to work in an office though, where nobody really cares how often I leave the room – I will say that if you work somewhere like a shop, bar or bank where you’re not allowed to just run off when the mood strikes, then this might not be too practical for you. There was one day where I had a client meeting to go to in Wales – knowing this involved a long journey and long meeting, I decided to skip the tea on this day. Other than that, I found that the effects of the teas didn’t really bother me too much. On top of this, I did genuinely start to feel much lighter and healthier as the days went by, so my feelings towards the tea were very positive.

I hadn’t weighed myself prior to the detox so I can’t tell you whether it worked in shifting any pounds, but I do think my bloating was reduced and I felt overall much better about myself. I can hand on heart say that I will definitely consider purchasing another set of these teabags in the future. I think they would be a great way to keep me feeling energised and cleansed every other month or so, and especially before a holiday or after a heavy and regret-filled weekend.

The Slendertoxtea teabags are available in 14 day, 28 day or 3 month packs and prices range from just £9.99 to £89.99.

Giveaway

If I haven’t put you off with my somewhat crude review (just being honest, ladies and gents…) then Slendertoxtea have been generous enough to offer a free 14 day teatox to one of our readers. Just enter in the standard way below that we all know and love, and we’ll reveal the winner in 2 weeks!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

There’s also currently a discount available on the Slendertoxtea website, which gives you 20% off your tea detox. Just enter ’20twitter’ for your discount!

Would any of you try a tea detox, or have you? Good luck with our giveaway!

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ClaireFebruary 24, 2014

A Week In Instagram #7

Hey there hot stuff(s). We’re back today with another Week In Instagram post. As always we are big fat liars and these photos span a time period much longer than a week, but we know you won’t hold that against us. So, what have we been up to?

1. Summer is just around the corner, meaning that it’s time to shed the blubber of winter and jiggle our bums all the way to the gym. I find that having semi-pretty work out wear is one of my key motivations for actually going to the gym (sad, I know) and I’m loving these brights at the mo. The sports bra and bottle are both from Primark’s sports range (which I heartily recommend, FYI) and I’m not at all sure if you can guess the brand of the leggings and trainers. It’s just not obvious at all.
2. Lauren tracked down some House of Holland false nails in Boots that let you pick what to spell out on your hands. Aw, what a cute idea you may think. Well, not to Lauren, who instead of writing her name or a nice message of love and peace, chose to write ‘Thug Life’. Oh well, the life chose her.
3. Look how gosh darn fit Lauren looked on a recent night out donning her new Primark skort and a bardot body.
4. I was lucky enough to be sent this dress courtesy of Karma Clothing recently, and I bloody LOVE it. Perfecto now with black tights (as seen in this OOTD post) and it will be even more perfecto come the summer.

5. A little selfie before I went out for some dinner recently. That’s my hair and nose and eyes and mouth and everything, hurrah!
6. Just some more of our Stylingo philosophy that we’re intent on sharing with the world. Some say we are like Gandhi but split into two people, others say that we are idiots…
7. Lauren sporting her new Barry M nail polish, which is the ‘Lady’ shade from the Royal Textured Glitter Collection. Fancy ja?!
8. We struggle to get to work without our travel mugs of tea each morning, and this one from Primark has been recently added to Lauren’s collection.

9. A ginger selfie.
10. Who says you can’t wear a crop top to work? Er, probably my company handbook actually, but who bothers to read that?
11. Another recent Primark bargain for Lauren – can you believe this cost just £5?!
12. My favourite new makeup product of the past month is without doubt Seventeen’s new Instant Glow cream bronzer. Click here for my full review.

What have you all been up to lately?

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ClaireFebruary 6, 2014

How To Do Valentine’s Day When You Find It Horribly Awkward

It’s that time of year again, I’m afraid. The time when the population is divided into two very different groups.

The Singles: Usually stereotyped as hiding under their duvets on Valentine’s Day munching on a tub of Cookie Dough and swigging Absolut straight from the bottle. They can usually be identified by the stench of loneliness and permanently damp hair (from crying themselves to sleep every night, of course).
The Couples: Ridiculously happy and often found wearing heart shaped/red-hued clothing on 14th Feb. These can be identified as the people who selfishly book restaurant tables well in advance and insist on causing nation-wide nausea with too much PDA.

But let’s all be honest. Most of us don’t fit into either of these groups. If you’re single, Valentine’s Day is just another day of chilling with a cup of tea and watching a bit of Toddlers and Tiaras. It’s not tragic, it just means you don’t have to bother about making lasagne for anyone else but yourself. If you’re in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is nice enough too. Going out for dinner is always a pleasant experience and there is usually some kind of Valentine’s Day discount on the go too – win-win by all accounts AM I RIGHT? I’ve not met many people that actually say “Oh yes, buying my boyfriend/girlfriend a load of stupid presents just after Christmas is exactly what I want to do”.

Don’t even get me started on Valentine’s Day presents. My ex-boyfriend bought me a teddy bear that said ‘I love you’ before he had actually even said it himself. I may as well have gone out with the bear, maybe the relationship would have gone better. What on earth am I supposed to do with a teddy bear? I’m not five years old. I’m not displaying that in my bedroom, it’s embarrassing. Now, don’t get me wrong. I like Valentine’s Day and I’m not averse to buying the fellow in my life a few presents. But all of this heart nonsense and ridiculous cards that have horrible cringey poems on them need to be gone.

So, annnyyyywayyy how can you do Valentine’s Day when you find it terribly awkward?

Do buy cards that don’t make you want to die.

Relationships are complicated. Whether you’ve been married for years, going out with someone for a while or have just started dating, one card that says “I will love you until the end of time, my life, my love, my Valentine” is guaranteed to make your significant other want to throw up. It makes me want to throw up right now and we’re nowhere near V Day. If you’re looking for a card that’s less awkward and less horrible, think about investing in something a little more true to life.

Do buy presents that aren’t ridiculous.

A heart shaped pillow, a teddy bear, chocolate, flowers. Just no. Why do you insist on trivialising our relationship with useless rubbish that I will never use, will make me fat and/or will die a week after I received them.

The most useful presents I have ever been given for Valentine’s Day were a camera and a pair of Kurt Geiger heels. What more could a girl want? I used that camera for years and I still wear my Geigers. That tragic teddy bear went in the bin pretty much as soon as I got it. Call me cruel, but that is just the way it is. Here are some sensible Valentine’s Day presents, both for him and for her.

Don’t make heart shaped brownies.

This extends to any sort of food, but especially desserts. I’m just going to eat it and I would rather you showed your love for me through fixing my laptop. Or at the very least saying, “you have fantastic hair”.

Do go on a normal date.

If you usually sit about and watch TV (and enjoy it too), then why is it suddenly normal to go to a stuffy fine dining restaurant on Valentine’s Day? Or even worse, go something activity based like mini golf or bowling. If you like that sort of thing, then that’s fine. But don’t feel like you have to do something “romantic” just because it’s Valentine’s Day. Having a nice dinner at home can be romantic. And going to the cinema can be romantic too (especially since you don’t have to talk for a couple of hours). Valentine’s Day is hugely less awkward if you don’t put any pressure on it. HUGELY.

My main ‘lets make Valentine’s Day less awkward and horrible’ tip is to be yourself in every way, shape or form. There’s no need to turn into some mental tragedy because you’re single. Equally, there’s no need to drown yourself in rose petals and hearts. Let’s all just be normal human beings. Without the pink glitter.

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ClaireJanuary 31, 2014

5 Reasons Why Carrie Bradshaw is a Chuffing Idiot

Every now and then you read a blog post that’s so utterly brilliant you have to praise it, and then immediately decide to steal the idea. Jenn from Photo-Jenn recently wrote a post entitled My Love-Hate Relationship with Sex and the City where she details every single reason why Carrie Bradshaw is a bloody moron in the first Sex and the City film. I wholeheartedly agreed with every point and it reminded me of all the other reasons I have for hating Carrie.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I love Sex and the City. I have most of the series’ on DVD and re-watch them regularly. Interestingly, when I first watched all of the episodes when I was about 15/16 I actually really liked Carrie. In a discussion with a friend, we even decided that I was ‘the Carrie’ of our group. At the time, I was really pleased with this; now I realised that it was my friend’s way of saying “You’re a massive bellend”.

In this post I will document all of the main things that annoy me about Carrie Bradshaw.

1. How She Is An Awful Friend

Carrie Bradshaw is first and foremost a truly terrible friend. You might not notice this on first watching, but you start to notice that every single scene where Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte have bothered to join this little idiot for brunch or cocktails revolves around Carrie’s drama of the day (which is usually stupid). Whenever any of the others try to talk about any of their life problems – which include divorce, pregnancy, cheating and, y’know, CANCER – Carrie always manages to dive in with one of her quips and bring it back round to her. If she was my friends I would definitely lose my temper and ram my brioche down her throat.

Also, do not get me started on the episode where she falls out with Charlotte because Charlotte won’t lend her an insane amount of money to make up for her years of being a financial disaster. Piss off Carrie, whack your shoes on eBay and stop being such a bitch.

2. How She Keeps Going Back to Big

Putting my personal dislike of Big aside (what are we meant to find attractive about him exactly?) I think Carrie and Big can singlehandedly be blamed for a whole generation of women constantly going back to damaging relationships and horrible exes. The decision to have them ultimately end up together was a terrible one. All it told us was ‘oh, you know that man that’s quite mean to you and never commits and makes you cry and picks you up and drops you again and gets married to someone who isn’t you and then cheats on that person with you and causes you to cheat on your boyfriend too and then doesn’t even want to marry you and obviously just hates your effing guts? Yeah, just stick with that – because it will all work out in the end!’

Just… no. Where is the logic, writers. Where is the humanity.

3. How She Treats Lovely Aidan

In conjunction with the above point, one of the things that makes Carrie Bradshaw a huge chuffing idiot is how horrible she is to Lovely Aidan. Lovely Aidan, with his dog and his leather jackets and his sander and chisel… He is the perfect human man, and what does she do? She fucks him over completely. Loads. First she cheats on him with Big – which I cannot even comprehend – and then vigorously pursues him to get him back. Even though he makes it quite clear how emotionally damaged she left him (I defy you to not sob at the “YOU BROKE MY HEART!” scene), she decides to still force her way back into his life and treat him as a plaything.

After being a pissy bitch for ages over the fact that he is not 100% over the affair, and screaming “You have to forgive me!” at least thirty times in one scene (reality check Carrie you harlot: he doesn’t), she then actually decides, once he’s forgiven her and been lovely and proposed, that actually she can’t even be arsed to wear the ring properly, or have to spend any time with him, or be nice to him.

She also thinks it’s perfectly reasonable to stay friends with Big. Who she CHEATED on Aidan with. Which brings me on to my point I feel most vehemently about:

4. HOW SHE LETS BIG COME TO THE CABIN

This is an absolutely atrocious Carrie moment in the long string of atrocious Carrie moments that essentially makes up the entire franchise that is Sex and the City. Aiden has been nice enough to take her back, forgive her affair, tolerate her friendship with fellow-affairee, AND bring her for a lovely little break in his cabin. She spends the whole trip being, unsurprisingly, a mammoth bitch – mainly because there are squirrels. She then has the audacity to invite Big to the cabin. To Aidan’s cabin. To hang out and drink wine.

Carrie, ARE YOU BLOODY MESSIN’?!

5. How She Thinks She’s A Wild Horse

For those of you who are lucky enough to be unfamiliar with this scene, Carrie has ended up outside the engagement party of Big and his new fiance, who he actually likes. Rather than taking this as the clear sign it is that she’s a crap person, she instead manages to delude herself that the reason she’s single is because she’s too fabulous. This is because she’s wild, like a horse. She shares this terrible moment with a proper mental horse who starts kicking off on the street and probably ended up being made into glue. I wish Carrie could meet this same fate.

What do you all think of Sex and the City’s leading ~~lady~~ idiot?

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