Wearing makeup is basically second nature to most of us tip top girls. Most of us have been wearing it since we were horrifyingly embarrassing teenagers in gypsy skirts and those weird crotchet slipper shoes. While I’m no makeup expert (erm, just throwing it on your face counts right?), there are some makeup fails that you simply can’t ignore. Some of these we may have experienced ourselves (before we became better people, obvs), and others we have witnessed from afar, shedding a tear for the unfortunate girl with too much blusher on.
Personally, I used to be freakin’ terrible at eyebrows and any form of liner. I don’t know if I was just permanently nervous or had an unusual fear of eyebrow pencils, but my hands used to shake in ways not yet witnessed by the common man. Resulting in a Picasso-esque look on my face, when I just wanted to look like Avril Lavigne.
Mostly for my own entertainment, Claire and I decided to recreate some of the worst makeup fails. From orange caked on foundation to frankly alarming lipliner, here are my top 5 makeup fails. And 5 pictures of me and Claire looking like right knobs.
1. Tragic Eyebrows
Ok, so eyebrows are a thing now. I love it, I love eyebrows and I love nothing more than drawing mine on every morning. But you know that well known saying, ‘she who hath bad eyebrows, hath failed at all that is good’? Well it so rings true with me. Whether they are misplaced, too big, too small, wonky or downright horrific, bad eyebrows need to be stopped. Call in her Maj’s army, because this is of national importance.
2. Mismatched Foundation
Another one that stresses me out more than Amanda Bynes no longer providing us with comedy gold, is mismatched foundation. I’ll actually rephrase this, because I don’t really care if you want to wear foundation that doesn’t quite match your skin – it’s the whole not-blending-into-your-neck thing that grates on me. Foundation doesn’t stop on your chinny, and there is neck blending to be done.
3. Unblended Eyeshadow
Yes, blending is really boring and yes, nobody really enjoys doing it – but the horrors of unblended eyeshadows are too many to count. Not only do you look like you’ve attempted a rubbish Black Swan fancy dress, but you look like a goddamn fool. Stylingo top tip: just blend until your hand aches, and then blend some more. For the love of pete and his dear mother.
4. Too Much Lipliner
The 90s may be back, but they will never be lipliner back. The whole lined lips with nude inner bits MAKES ME WANT TO CRY. Why. Just why. How did this ever happen? HOW?!
5. Clown Blusher
A nice blusher goes a long way. The point is to look like you’ve been for a casual jog down the road and/or like you are a healthy country girl who enjoys spending time in the great outdoors (when we are actually bloggers who like sitting at home and taking pictures of our shoes). The idea is not to look like Ronnie McDonnie.
And now Claire and I would like to cry about how beautiful we look in these snaps. If you haven’t had a chuckle at the tragedies that are our faces, then perhaps you have learned some valuable makeup tips. You’re welcome.
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